Single Mom No More!

A lot has happened the last few months! I am now engaged! I am so happy and so thrilled I can hardly contain myself!

Everything about my man is amazing and I couldn't have picked a better person to spend the rest of my life with. Not only is he romantic, funny, and wildly crazy, he has a heart of gold and the character to persevere through life's challenges.

I knew he was the one when he was okay with not sleeping with me right away. I had established that little rule in my dating life to see if the man truly was interested in me, and not what I would give him in bed. Not only was he okay with it, but he truly respected that. Of course he showed interest in me in that way, and when the time was right it was beautiful and everything it should be.

When he met my children it was obvious he was going to get along with them. The fact that my children adore him and enjoys his company means more to me than anything else. To see the excitement in their face when they heard the news is so ratifying that my heart is treasuring every moment.

I have prayed, I have waited, and I had hope that this day would come. Oh, the joy of knowing that I will no longer have to do life alone, that someone will join hands with me and take a leap of faith on this crazy journey. What I love most is that I have a partner who makes me laugh, find hope when I feel hopeless, and who truly has mine and my children's back! I couldn't ask for anything more!

Don't ever stop believing that good is in store for you.

Something to Rejoice About!

If there is one thing in life I hate more than anything else its good-byes. I hate when life throws those unexpected turns and you find yourself saying good-bye to everything you were familiar with, and everything you were hoping for. Divorce is definitely a good-bye to many aspects of life-- Good-bye to wedding anniversaries, raising kids full time if you share custody, good-bye to companionships and the hope for growing old together. Of course in situations where divorce is necessary, and they do exist, may make the good-bye bitter-sweet. In my case it was a bitter-sweet good-bye. I knew the relationship was unhealthy for all involved. My grieving process for saying good-bye to all that I knew and what I was hoping for for the future definitely began before I actually left him. It is for that reason I was able to gain the strength to kick him out and fight for whatever the future was going to hold! I have to admit that it took every ounce of my faith to break up my marriage and take the kids and start a whole new life for me! When I think about how far I've come, I am filled with pride, joy and gratefulness.

There is however, a positive outcome with good-byes and that's new beginnings. New beginnings are scary, exciting and sometimes unwanted. Either way we look at it, all of us have some sort of new beginnings in our lives. Isn't New Year's about new beginnings? Isn't a new relationship? Having children? Graduating from school? Getting married? Starting a new career? Venturing into some unknown adventure? Chasing a dream? Death? Divorce? Illnesses? Diseases? And so forth.... It seems to me that no matter what we experience in life there is in some way a death and then a re-birth, a good-bye and then a new beginning! I don't know about you but that thought makes me appreciate life, the gift that God gave us, for what it is. I mean, isn't it awesome to think that God doesn't just leave us at a good-bye permanently! Not even death! And with His rich grace we get as many chances to continue to live as many new beginnings as we need to have everything we need, or to figure out just how stupid we are because we always had what we needed!

I guess this has been on my mind, because I am just so grateful that I have yet another chance to begin anew. Another chance to develop and be myself. Another chance at creating the life that has meaning, purpose and value! The one scripture that has been resonating with me is the one in James where it says that we should consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds. I don't know if I could ever rejoice when I am experiencing a hard trial in my life, but I do believe that if I have any muster of faith left, I can have joy that God is going to draw closer to me and watch over me as go through the fire. I know it sounds cliche and we have all heard it before, about God being there through our toughest times, that He is actually carrying us through, hence, the Footprints in the Sand poem. But I really do see how much God carried me through all I have been through in the last two years. The only way I made it was because He carried me through. Even though in my rebellion, in my sin, He continued to carry me just as he carried the cross to Calvary. No matter how empty I felt, or how guilty, He NEVER let me go! And when I was strong enough, he put me down, looked into my eyes and He said, "Hi! Its nice to see you again!" We were introduced all over again! And isn't that just beautiful! Isn't it lovely when we meet new friends for the first time? Even if its for the second or third or fourth time?

You know a funny thing has been happening lately... God has been blessing me with so much new life I feel special and loved! It was nice to be introduced to a new small group through church. It was wonderful to be with my children in a new way! It was nice to give and then receive forgiveness from my ex. Little by little God is proving faithful to me. And doesn't that sound so backwards? Shouldn't it be me who should be proving my faithfulness to God? But through my experience, it isn't like that all, because I am not faithful! God is. And when I go through hard times, its God who shows his faithfulness, not me! So James was right, consider it pure joy when you go through trials because it is a time that God will prove just how faithful, graceful and patient He is! That is something to rejoice about!