Craziness and Guilt

It's so wonderful to have my kids back and have the apartment full of their messy clothes, toys, and craziness! I don't realize how lonely I am until they come back to my life. Sure I have some great friends and family, but it's not the same. I feel more complete and I feel like I have more purpose in my life. I have been feeling a bit run down, tired and somewhat sad. I guess it's part of life. That awful, no good guilt just knows when to creep back into my mind. Some days I just can't win the battle. I suppose I need to learn that too... I can't win every time, and sometimes the guilt will win and so I need to accept that fact alone. No need to beat myself up or make myself feel even worse than I do! Tonight, the guilt has won. I feel like shit that my family is a part and I feel like a failure as a mom. That's how I feel, but it doesn't mean it's the truth. Tomorrow is a new day, with a new battle to fight. So I will allow this one defeat tonight and get my strength back and fight again tomorrow. Why? Because I love myself and my kids too much not to. Hmmm maybe guilt isn't the winner after all.