Learning to Let Go

One of the most annoying traits I possess is the act of holding on to past events. For some reason, I can't seem to get past the incident at the wedding. Over and over in my mind I play out what happened. Why do I continue to punish myself over something that happened almost two weeks ago? Not only that, but I totally blew it with that guy. Not for what I did, but because I couldn't let it go, and I kept playing in my mind what happened, so I couldn't stop apologizing and made another fool of myself. This guy probably thinks I am one psycho manic. Maybe I am! But at least I know what I struggle with and what I need to work on. I hate that I couldn't have learned this lesson with someone else so that I wouldn't have blown it with this guy. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am okay. Self-accpetance is more valuable then having the acceptance of others. I really have to make myself believe (because it's the truth) that what he thinks of me doesn't matter. I have to take this incident and keep my head up high, because I did fall (literally) and I did get back up. I know myself better than anyone and I know that this little mishap does not define me!