What makes a boy a boy?

I have been in turmoil these days about how my son has been behaving. Once again I find myself blaming myself and circumstances for his poor choices and negative thought patterns, but then I have to stop and realize that his choices and his happiness has nothing to do with me or our circumstances. The true fact is that he has chosen this path, and it is breaking my heart.

I want so much for him to be happy. So much for him to be a confident and respectful individual… hmmm... individual… 

Yes, I want him to be an individual independent of others opinions and the apathetic attitude that we all fall into. 

So my concern is how do I raise a boy in this world to be strong, confident and well respected? 

How do I raise a boy to be a boy when now a days our definition of that is so skewed? 

I mean, doesn't our society teach our boys that in order to be cool and confident one must conform to the ideas of what masculinity is all about? Promiscuity, violence, power, anger and self-pleasure. 

So what makes a boy a boy? How do you teach a boy to be true to himself and the true meaning of masculinity when the voices of promiscuity, violence, power, anger and self-pleasure ring mighty and loud? 

Raising boys in this world is not easy.

The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" makes more sense to me now. What this world needs are men who know the true meaning of masculinity… respect, honesty, faithfulness, strength, leadership and kindness. Men who guide our young boys to what it means to be confident and well respected. 

But who am I kidding? Just a quick look into what our men resort to and there is no question that masculinity has lost its true meaning. Where is the integrity, the honesty, the selflessness???? 

I am no way saying that I am wanting perfect, boring, rigid, rule following sissies. NO, NO!! That is just emasculation.  What I am saying is men who have the integrity to say no to mediocrity and lead lives that have meaning and purpose. Not a life full of selfish pleasure and power. Men who stay faithful to one woman, and show respect to other women. Men who don't fall into sexual temptation whether it be via computer porn, gentlemen's club (why it is named "gentlemen" is beyond me), and magazines. Men who control their anger and use it to better the lives of others rather than act out in violence.  Men who are mature enough and have the balls to tell the truth even if the consequences are severe. 

That's how I want to raise my son… Those are the qualities I want to instill in him… 

In the end, however, I can only plant those seeds in his heart. I know there is a man in his life who will give him those tangible seeds to live by. So I need to be patient and keep instilling those beliefs in him…  

Raising boys in this world is not easy.