We met online. We had two dates. Two. We talked every night. I noticed that after each date he logged on to the dating site (No, I wasn't really cyber stalking him, just noticed). I noticed that he logged on a lot while talking to me. I had my suspicions that he wasn't all that interested in me, but I was still hopeful.
I guess I didn't really feel the "spark" either, but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. I am not one to believe that love comes in like a big boom, although there are exceptions. I happen to believe that the greatest of loves are the ones that come in softly, grow slowly and take time to nurture. So I was waiting for the "spark" in time, as we got to know each other. He was nice, sweet, seemed fun and has the same values I have. We had a lot in common. I was just excited to get to know someone on an intimate level, but because there was no "spark" in the beginning I guess that means all hope is gone.
The analytical person inside of me wants to analyze every aspect of this dating scenario. For one, what does he really mean by "spark?" I wasn't attractive? I didn't have the spunk he was looking for? Well, let me just say that being a single mom and working two jobs is exhausting, not to mention that I spent the ENTIRE day cleaning and cooking and baking for him for our date. I was exhausted, and may have come across that way instead of fun and lively! Either way, I know it was a bit challenging to read him.
I also want to blame the cyber dating world. I mean, how can an individual get to know a person if there are so many to choose from? Surely there will always be women prettier, sexier, funnier, richer and more successful... on paper! Why bother with one when you can bother with several at a time? Why give a person a chance when you can just move on to the "better" one?
I suppose I am still hurting a bit from the rejection, and I am puzzled as to why someone wouldn't at least give me a fair shot. Or am I really that blind when it comes to dating? Does someone really know after two dates that there is no "spark" and there never will be? The guy wouldn't flirt with me or woo me. Kinda hard to get a spark going when you are busy pursuing other women don't you think? Maybe I am analyzing this too much, but in the end, I am better off with out this guy.
I will end this post from a quote from one of my favorite dating movies, "He's Just Not That Into You,"
"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”
So I will move on, pick up the pieces and and prepare for the future. God knows who is best for me, and so I will trust him. I will not give up hope.
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