You Will NEVER Get It Together

I would like to encourage all of you single moms out there. You will NEVER get it together, so stop trying. Stop pressuring yourself to be perfect. You will never be perfect. Stop trying to live up to an ideal that produces shame. Put down the image you created for yourself, put down the mask, and just show up. Show up with all your imperfections, all of your craziness, all of your youness!

 In the end your children only want you anyway. They don't want a perfect mom. They don't want a tired, worn out, pretending to have it together mom. They want you. All of you. Yes, ALL of you! Even with all of the mistakes, and regrets and the messiness that you have created. Your kids are going to be okay, because you are okay. You are enough, and you are giving and doing enough. Give yourself a break and stop trying so hard.

Don't let the world manipulate you into believing what makes up a good mom. Don't let other moms judge you for not living up to their standards. Their lofty looks and nasty remarks are only an indicator of their own self-value, it says nothing of your value. Don't let the "super mom" culture of this world make you feel less than because you can't do it all. All that is required from you is to love your kids. Period. Love will guide you and show you how to give your kids the best. Don't let materialism of others make you seem like you are not giving enough "stuff" to your kids. Trust me, what your kids need and what your kids want are two very differnt things. You are providing them with what they need, and when they are grown they will show you through their own lives just how grateful they were for providing what they needed (food, shelter, clothing, love and support). They will grow up remembering your time with them, not the stuff you bought them.

 It's okay to have dirty dishes in the sink. It's okay to have un-made beds, and laundry all over the floor. It's okay to have dust on your shelves and to have a pile of toys and homework in the house. Put down the image of a perfecly clean house and go play with your kid! Talk to him. Listen to her. They truly and wholly want you. Your stories. Your experiences. Your time.

Live life and your kids will learn to live life. And in life remember this:

You will NEVER get it together. So stop trying. Just show up and believe it's going to be okay!