Becoming Assertive

New Years Resolutions have always been a tradition for me, and so this year is really no different. As I get older the resolutions look more and more different. For one, I tend to focus on aspects that seem to matter a bit more in the long run rather than issues that seem superficial. This year I really want to work on being assertive. I really feel that what is wrong with my life is that I lack a backbone. I let things slide when they shouldn't and keep my mouth quiet when I should speak up. This is causing a lot of distress and feeding on my low self-esteem. I just want to be able to tell people how I really feel without being mean and without letting them control me! I know this is going to be a long drawn out process. What I need is a plan. A step-by-step program to assist in my journey to finding my backbone.

This resolution came to existence because I have begun to notice that I don't speak about the truth of what I feel. I suppress my true feelings and it has really caused a ton of problems. I mean a lot! I really believe that in order to be liberated from this notion of low self-esteem and to be happy with my life, I need to take responsibility of my feelings and express them in a healthy way. No more holding them in and expecting things to work out when I don't say what I need, or what I don't want!

I know this is isn't easy for me, because I am such a people pleaser. I really care about what others think and I don't like conflict of any kind. But I need to toughen up and realize that life is full of conflict and I need to learn how to deal with it. If I really want a life full of joy and freedom I really need to take care of myself, and one way to do that is to set my boundaries and not allow anyone to disrespect them. I have spent all of my life allowing people to cross my boundaries and treat me less than I am worth.

Its not their fault of course. I mean I am the one who didn't express my true feelings. I am the one who didn't speak up and say I didn't like that. So I need change. I need to find a way to be direct with people and not allow this submissive attitude to control my life.

Cheers to assertiveness!