Mother's Day is approaching and so it has me thinking about the last fourteen years I have had with my children. The memories are both good and bad. As my oldest is now ending her first year of high school and my son his first year of middle school, I hope that what I have tried to instill in them will mature and they will shine as content and productive adults. I don't really want anything for Mother's Day except to be with my family and enjoy the moment with them. I do however, want my children to know just how much they are loved and just how brave to be in this crazy world. Here is a letter I want to give them this Mother's Day:
Dear Stacy and Kevin,
First and foremost, I love you. I love you because of who you are, and not becuase of what you are. I know I have not been the best mom to you both. I have had a lot of distractions in my life that probably made you feel less important and confused. I know that when we were going through the divorce, a very painful time for you two, I was consumed with homework, fighting with your dad and dating. I want you to know that I am sorry for this. I am sorry I didn't spend more time with you and that I didn't take the time to listen to your concerns, fears, and confusion. I am sorry I didn't provide the care and nurturing you needed during a time you needed it the most. It is my biggest regret I have. If I could take it back and re-do certain things I would. I would hug you guys more, and spend more qaulity time with you and put down my facebook, my essay, cancel that date and take you for ice cream or to a park. Now, you are growing up so fast, that you want to hang out at the mall with your friends and you are busy with your own homework and athletics there isn't much time to just hang out.
Please know that I am still here for you now. No matter what, I am here to listen. I will not judge you or condemn you. I will love you and listen to your woes and joys. I only hope that it is not too late to build a solid relationship with you. Please know that I have learned so many lessons the last few years and I want to pass these on to you.
1. Be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes. When we do, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to you and then make it right. It is never too late to apologize and to pick up the pieces and make it right again.
2. Forgive others. They too make mistakes. They need kindness as much as you do. Don't take any offense personal. Forgive them and your life will be free to live fully. Forgive them and they too will forgive and the world is a much better place because of this.
3. Be grateful. Life is unfair and unkind sometimes and so you need to look at the good and be grateful for that. Don't look at what you don't have, but what you do. Be thankful for all the little things in life and you will see how rich you are.
4. Spread joy. You are never alone in your pain or confusion. Everyone is trying to make sense of this crazy life and so we all need a little hug, a little smile and a little encouragement. Spread joy and you will be more joyful.
5. Be giving. Some people only take in life and never give back in return. Refuse to be that person. Give with no strings attached or with no expectations. Some people just have nothing to give at the time and need to know there is someone who cares.
6. Be accepting. Sometimes we feel different from others. Accept yourself for who you are. Trust me, you are enough. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. And in return accpet others who are different from you. They too feel awkward at times and rejected, so let them know they are okay too.
7. Be brave. It isn't always easy to do the right thing. Sometimes you will loose friends, and sometimes you will be ridiculed for standing up for justice. Know that when you do what is right despite the outcome, you will be blessed. You will have made the world a little better. So be brave and swim against the current.
8. Set your priorities. It is important to know what is important in life and what isn't. Family will always be number one.Sometimes, friends come and go, and so does stuff. Your family will always be there and will provide for you what you need. Our relationships with our family is much too valuable to just set aside.
9. Be humble. Don't make the mistake of believing you are better than someone else. Don't make the same equal mistake by thinking others are better than you. We are all equal children of God. A circle of diversed and messed up people. To not forgive or ask for forgiveness is to deny this very truth. Everyone is deserving of our love and kindness and especially our forgiveness. Treat others as you would like to be treated and you will have a fulfilling life! Always try and remember to concern yourself with how you treat others and not with how they treat you.
10. Have fun. Remember not to take life too seriously. Enjoy what is around you and who you are with. Smile, laugh and just have fun. Life is too short. As Bugs Bunny taught me, nobody has ever come out of life alive, so don't take it too seriously. Bugs Bunny is wise! :) Sometimes you learn a lot from a cartoon character.
As your mother, I am blessed to have you two in my life. You make me a better person. You have taught me those lessons above. When you both came into my life, I realized that I had to put you two before my own needs, and it made me grow up. You saved me from myself kids, and I will always be grateful for that. I know life hasn't been fair to you and I haven't always been there, but I am here now and we are picking up the pieces and making it right once again. I love you always.
Love Always,
Your Mama
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