I'm Letting Go

“In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.” ~Margaret Laurence

 

My words were, "I forgive you whether you apologize to me or not."

 

I stated my apology and presented the olive branch. I opened the door for reconciliation.

 

Nothing has been reciprocated. No apology. No effort to reconcile a broken relationship caused by miscommunciation and hurtful words.

 

So the pain has surfaced again.

 

It was difficult to forgive the first offense. Now I am trying to forgive the second- the offense of no apology.

 

To not show any remorse or effort to reconcile the relationship somehow hurts more than the words first spoken.

 

Perhaps I put more stalk in the relationship than the other person. Perhaps I misjudged our relationship in the first place.

 

Whatever the reason for no apology, it makes me feel unimportant, empty and small.

 

Yes, I will forgive, but that does not mean I will forget, or that the feeling of insignificance will go away.

 

Friends, we are not any better than anybody else to think we have the right to not apologize. Just because someone has forgiven you, doesn't give you a free ticket to not acknowledge their pain and hurt.

 

To genuinely apologize is to not only bring healing and reconciliation, but it also says, "I acknowledge that I messed up, and I am equal with you. I am the same as you and I value you too much to let my pride get in the way of our relationship,"

 

To not apologize is to say the opposite. "I don't acknowledge you or your pain. My pride is more important than you and our relationship." To not apologize is inherently an act of conceit.

 

Here is a proufound statment about forgiveness and apologies:

 

Forgiveness is simply a reminder that I am on equal footing with every other child of God. We all do good and noble things at times; on other occasions we may offend. I have no right to judge, punish, or absolve anyone. When I behave self-righteously, I'm the one who suffers- I seperate myself from my fellow human beings... I don't know the motives or circumstances that cause another's behavior.

 

I would like to say that I forgive this person for not apologizing. I will not absolve him. It hurts and it keeps us seperated. I am sad that it has to be this way, and I hope that in the future we will have reconcilation. Until then I'm letting go.

 

Letting go of the dream of being a family with this person.

 

Letting go of my judgements and assumptions about why this person does not care about our relationship.

 

Letting go of the hurt and disappointment.

 

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."